Textbook Example Why Arriving To The Airport Early Is A Good Idea. FACT.

I don't mean to brag...but, I'm kind of a big deal...at least when it comes to the art of procrastination. If society celebrated socially frowned upon behaviors, I'd have this one in the bag. But, then again...not being appreciated in one's own time has been known to breed notoriety after death...so, I'm banking on that.

I was originally supposed to leave on Nov. 22, but delayed my flight because I didn't feel like I had enough time to see everyone and pull my life together after my longest carnie season ever. So, I gave myself more than 2 more weeks, and yet I still found myself frantically packing and driving here and there up until the moment we left for the airport. But, once I confirmed that my bags were under 50lbs, all my crucial documents were on my person, managed to cram my 8' surfboard into the car, and arrived at LAX long term parking 2 1/2 hours early...I ASSumed I was golden.

9:45PM. Sure enough, as the saying goes...and previously unbeknownst to you readers...I made an ass out of both of us as soon as I entered the Tom Bradley International terminal. First, a mental picture: Mom, Dad, Grandpa and Jeanne all with at least 2 bags each and then me, with 2 bags to check, a large carry on purse, my camera bag that's comparable in size to a diaper bag, and a longboard. I made my way to the self check-in kiosk with the confidence of a seasoned traveler. Take out my passport. And...cue flashback to what happened in that same spot almost a year ago exactly. For those 6 of you who were with me, you may recall that I had an issue with having "Rebecca" on my passport, but a ticket booked under "Becky." And after entering in all my info, there was that same flashing alert on the screen: Problem Verifying Your Information. Please See An American Airlines Member!"
10:00PM. No problem. We're 2 hours early and last year the crew member just bumped me to the front of the line and fixed the issue.

Not as lucky this time. I was directed to go wait in the ticketing line. Let me paint you another picture: at the front of the line is a huge Chinese tourist group, followed by Salvadorian family after Salvadorian family toting massive suitcases, followed by the blonde girl, struggling to weave her surfboard through the ropes while simultaneously maneuvering her suitcase and duffle bag. Which one of these is not like the other? Eventually my grandpa came to my aide in line...quite the spectacle. As luck would have it, I was directed to the counter with the crew member that viewed AA policies as rigidly stringent, had no sense of urgency, an inability to make decisions without double-checking everything with her manager (who, judging by the length of time it took her to walk over to said manager, held his post at least 3 terminals over), and who has clearly never heard of Mavis Beacon, or has decided to take a firm stance against typing proficiency by furthering/championing the "hunt and peck" method.

10:20PM. I tell her (for story's sake, let's call her Mildred) about my situation. She begins the unnecessarily slow process of typing in my info.
10:25PM. Mildred notices that I don't have a return flight and asks if I have a visa for living in El Salvador. Negative, Milly. She then informs me that she believes I need to have a return flight booked or a visa, but that she needs to confirm with her manager...so she leaves.
10:30PM. The hate stares from the folks in line are starting to become apparent. Mildred returns at the speed you'd expect from anyone named, Mildred. She confirms that I do in fact need a return flight. FALSE. But, there was no time to argue at this point. Okay, Milly...just book me one with my miles. Denied. She can't book any tickets using miles. I'd have to call an AA representative and then get back in line. Negative. No time. Okay...what kind of fees am I looking at if I book a flight now but cancel or change it later?
10:35PM. In Mildred's first slightly helpful move yet, she tells me I could buy the most expensive ticket, which was fully refundable, and then cancel it when I got through customs in El Salvador. Done. $960. Charge it.
10:40PM. She resumes her typing that not even a mother could feign praise. Of course my passport won't scan at this point, requiring my typing challenged friend to input all the info manually.
10:44PM. Finally making some headway. On to the baggage check. Mildred becomes aware that I have 2 bags to check and a surfboard. Out comes the rule book. Contrary to the normal allotment, passengers flying to Latin America Dec-Jan can only check 2 bags, and even though I have to pay extra to check the surfboard anyway, it still counts as one of my 2 bags. I argue that I specifically asked the other crew member about this issue and she gave me the green light as long as I paid the fee for the surfboard.
10:48PM. Commence long walk back to the ole manager. Meanwhile, a small mutiny is being organized in the line behind me. Violent vibes sent in my general direction.
10:55PM. I'm pretty certain Milly took a cigarette break on this trip, made some long distance calls, or perhaps watched all of the "Land Before Time" movies. Tough to say what took her so long...still uncertain of her level of devotion to cartoon dinosaur epics. One would think that in the 50 minutes we'd spent together I would have gathered that sort of critical information and we'd be close to BFF status...but she was a tough shell to crack, that Mildred. Despite our meaningful connection, she would make no concessions for me and reported back that her manager said I could only check 2 items.
11:00PM. Okay. Next solution. Call over grandpa who only checked one of his bags and ask if he can check my other one. Success. She consented. $100 to check the surboard. Almost through.
11:10PM. She hands me all my documents, we say our goodbyes, promise to write and K.I.T. Drop off my bags to baggage check. And finally head up to security...where, you'll all be proud to know that I killed it. No problems. Flying colors. By the time we got to the gate, they had already started boarding. WHEEW!! Barely made it. And all because I put off fixing that whole name issue after it happened last year. Procrastionation. And we've now come full circle.

But...the silver lining in all this is that I got to fly Business Class for the first time ever. And, although I still wish I was a little bit taller...I AM now a baller. And...I've never really wanted a rabbit in a hat or a girl who looked so good that I felt a strong desire to call her..so...(Those of you who didn't listen to rap in the early 90's may not get that reference, so don't beat yourself up about it). Big seats, warm nuts, hot towels, fresh mozarella with basil and incredible tomatoes, Pinot Grigio, an amazing fresh fruit and mango sorbet dessert, and no one in the seat next to me.

And now we're here!!! It's a humid 85 degrees, beautiful, green, and I already had my first one-on-one tutoring session with Nelson. He will be coming 2 times a week. At the risk of sounding conceited, I was pretty proud of my performance in recalling my Spanish. Anyway...longest blog ever...won't happen again.