Welcoming the 10's

Ordinarily I'd consider myself a very positive person...and so would Mr. Clifton of the Clifton Strengths Finder test...positivity tested as the first of my five strengths...so, FACT. But, when it comes to New Year's, I've come to develop a pretty negative outlook. Not of the idea of a new year or the whole resolution thing, because I like that...just of the build up of the celebrations that take place on New Year's Eve and day. In my experience, this is the most anticlimactic of any holiday. It just never really lives up to the hype. Maybe I haven't been at the right parties or on the right trips, but I continually find myself disappointed. Even on the years that I feel my plans can't fail, like when a group of my best friends from college spent the weekend together in Portland...I ended up with strep throat.

This year, I'm in El Salvador and had no expectations...well, aside from expecting another night of firework warefare. And annoying as it was on Christmas Eve, at least I'd be prepared this time. We had no celebrations planned and I was content to have it be that way...just another day at the beach. With no expectations, I couldn't be disappointed. And yet...per usual, New Year's Eve insisted upon leaving a lasting negative impression. I went to bed early to try to fall asleep before the firework extravaganza that was sure to take place at midnight. I figured I'd have a better chance sleeping through the noise than trying to fall asleep in the middle of it.

At around 11:30 pm, I woke up...not because of the fireworks, which were already in full swing at this point, but because of an intense itching sensation on my hands, arms, stomach, and legs. I got out of bed, turned on the light, and found that my hands and arms were completely covered with red bumps. Large areas of the skin were totally raised. The lower half of my stomach was also covered and my legs appeared to have a multitude of bites. Before I had fallen asleep I had killed a blood-filled mosquito, a bunch of ants, and a spider (pretty standard nightly activity here). Having been startled out of dead sleep, I wasn't totally lucid and started playing out all the potentially fatal outcomes in my head. Scenes from "Arachnophobia" came to mind, stories of the West Nile virus and various other Discovery channel specials on deadly insects. For a moment, I was certain that my lungs were failing and my throat was closing up.

Considering my penchant for attracting bug bites, it would naturally follow that if there were a deadly species in this area, it would locate me. I'm actually surprised that I haven't gotten malaria yet with the amount of mosquito bites I've endured over the years. One year while working at the Orange County Fair, I got bit on my eyelid and my eye was swollen shut for 3 days. I was literally a one-eyed carnie...total freak show. For the remainder of the fair, out of fear of being bit again, I slept in a hooded sweatshirt (in the middle of July with no air conditioning) with the hood strings pulled tight so that only my nose and mouth stuck out and then, put a pillowcase over my head. Apparently suffocating was the least of my concerns.

But back to the current attack...

I doused my body in Calamine lotion, and as the itching lessened, so did my irrational thoughts of imminent death. Instead, my thoughts moved toward how I was going to get back to sleep now that the whole country was setting off firecrackers...and where that slumber would take place.

I had no idea what had attacked me, but there was absolutely no way I was taking the chance of getting back into the same bed or using the same bedding. So I moved to the couch, found some beach towels to cover myself with, put on an episode of Arrested Development, took some Tylenol PM, and tried to avoid scratching. I think I finally fell back asleep around 2 am...another New Year's Eves for the books. But, in the spirit of positivity, I did live to write about it. The jury is still out on what exactly munched on me...not sure if it was mosquitoes, bed bugs, spiders, or something really cool that I've never heard of...but whatever it was, I'm hoping their taste buds will have evolved, rendering me undesirable before the next attack.

I hope this is not a sign of what's to come in the New Year...or new decade for that matter.

Sidenote: What will our kids (or grandkids, as the case may be) wear to signify the 00's or the 10's or the 2000's on decade dress-up days? Skinny jeans, tight V-necks shirts, American Apparel?? Thoughts? Talk amongst yourselves.